I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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