I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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