Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
