I looked at my own cervix.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
