i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
