Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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