she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
