Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize