I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize