I want to stick my p in your. b.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
