did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
