Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
