Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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