I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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