I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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