You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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