once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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