..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
