What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Panties = found
Randomize
