I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
