Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
