you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
