How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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