im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I skipped work to stalk him.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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