3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
