Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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