talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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