ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize