sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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