Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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