this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
