I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize