I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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