im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
