I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
