Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
