I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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