It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
