Whod you bang
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
