I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
