And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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