I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
