we're blogging at a bar
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
True strength comes from lack of pants
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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