I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
