my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
