Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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