I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
