wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The struggles of a small town man whore
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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