How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
