his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
