Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize