Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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