Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize