He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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