i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
