there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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