nut hugger
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize