i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
