wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize