his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
