man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize